As with all living things, children have an inner timetable. I do not believe arriving at a stage slowly or quickly is an indication of intelligence or capacity. Is the rosebud that blooms first, the longest lasting and most beautiful?
A stable home environment, plenty of sleep and other creature comforts, along with your loving interactions, nurture them best. But here are a few ideas for valuable things you can do — in a playful, loving way — with a very young child:
- Hold an infant on your lap, on their back — their feet against your abdomen so that they’re facing you. Look directly into their eyes and —
- Try clicking your tongue — even a very young infant may try to imitate you.
- Notice a sound they’re able to make and repeat it back to them.
- When they’re babbling, answer back to them as if you understand they’ve said something.
- Say a few simple phrases over and over, You’re sooooo wonderful, You’re so pretty, I love you, etc.
- Sing to them.
- Stop as soon as they lose interest.
- Once they’re able to sit, have them sit beside you — at least once a day — and focus on the pages of a book of nursery rhymes. Use that same book day after day.
- In a sing-song voice, say the same rhymes over and over. If they’re already talking a bit, encourage them to join in.
- Let them point to the pictures as you talk about them.
- Let them turn the pages. (Our family’s old book of Mother Goose rhymes is so thin at the lower right-hand corner, from turning pages, we had to tape both sides of it.)
- Read simple, repetitive stories — have them point to the pictures as you talk about them. Repeat these same stories day after day. Keep the books where they can reach them when you’re not around to help.
- Play with following directions. Slowly, so it’s just a little challenging. Over time — increase the number of directions and complexity. (Use over, under, in front of, etc. Use different colors to identify the chairs or tables.)
- Begin with one direction: Put Teddy Bear on the big chair. Once he’s there, say something like, That’s right — now bring him back. (Avoid saying you’re a good boy/girl. Their work does not define them.)
- Give 2 directions at once: Put Teddy on the coffee table, then put him under that other chair. Once he’s there, say again, OK, good job.
- Give 3 directions: Put Teddy in front of the TV, then beside the dog’s dish, and then jump up and down. Good job — now bring Teddy back.
- See how many directions you can give, but don’t push it too far.
- . Make sure anything you’re doing with them in this way is enjoyable — never too much of a challenge. Little games with you should leave your child feeling very happy — confident about what they’re able to do.
- Protect them from loss of confidence. If they try something and make a mistake, avoid criticizing their efforts with something like, No that’s not right! Instead, try modeling it again. Or just leave it for awhile. (If a child actually not able to do something they want to do, it’s always worked for me to say something like, Let’s wait awhile, you’ll be able to do that when you get older and your hands are bigger.)
- When you think your child might be ready to play with Key Words, let their interest be your guide. If interested, keep it up. If not, wait awhile before you try again. The main thing is to discover when they’re ready, not to hurry them along, which can be harmful. (See Key Words With Preschoolers and “Sensitive Periods” & Readiness.)
- And as always — give them lots of affection and plenty of time to play.